I'm surprisingly relaxed about the fact that Meredith is leaving this week. I'm not sure if it's because she's been so busy lately or if it's because I know that her leaving won't really change anything between us.I know that we'll always be friends and that even though distance might mean we'll talk less, we'll still be there for each other and our connection won't wane. 

I've also managed to be very good with schoolwork lately. I'm organized and prepared and on time with everything school related and I'm quite content with where my academic life is right now. I know I need to start researching grad schools, but I don't want to put too much on my plate at once. I have exactly three weeks off once I'm finished exams for the summer term, so I'm planning to use that time to look into where I'd like to study next and also to apply to more jobs because I still don't have one.

My apartment is (mostly) clean, and I feel like everything is in place in my life for now. I know that the calm never really lasts - it's one of those wonderful things about life in that everything is in constant flux and doesn't stay stable for long. On the one hand, I hate change, but I can understand and respect the need for it. If nothing ever changed, life would be way too boring. And all of the good things are made better if you have to struggle a little along the way.

My best friend is back in my life, and even though things with him are still rocky sometimes given our past, I'm so grateful to have him here with me. Having someone to talk to about anything and to share everything with is something I've missed. With Steve I'm able to completely let go of everything and just be. I can tell him anything and contradict myself without judgement... and that's something that is hard to find in a friend. People like to categorize, and to know where others stand, and I don't really do that. I tend to change my opinion and look at things from multiple viewpoints. I realize that the way I feel is fluid and that I don't always see things the same way. And I'm open to new information; I'll allow it to sway my opinion.

Not everyone is against fluidity, but sometimes it's hard for people to see it as a real thing. We like categories, we like stability and organization. Change goes against that and so we try to fight it. But in the end, change always wins. Because what would life be without conflict? Without resolution? It wouldn't be life.