Autobiotic

Sometimes I feel like my life is so surreal and I want to write an autobiography because it's just too crazy. But then I realize that the people who'd want to read it most are my family and friends and there are things that I don't really want certain people hearing about. For example, may family really doesn't need to hear about my sexual exploits. So I guess what I'm asking is: how do you write an autobiography without letting anyone know it's about you?