I'm Old. But not really.

So, I threw together a seminar presentation today. I'm kind of nervous, but I think that I've covered everything that I can possibly cover at this point. It's the class that I'm not sure how to handle, too, so that isn't helping at all. I'm hoping that I can meet with my professor at some point and talk to her about this because I honestly feel utterly lost in this class.

In other news, tomorrow is my birthday. I'm going to be 21 and it's really strange. I keep being reminded that I'm this old already and it's really strange to me. It's almost like I'm growing up in front of my own eyes and like I'm having an out-of-body experience all of the time.

There are things that I'm doing with my life that I never thought I could do, because I used to think that such behaviour was the most horrible thing ever. I've since changed my mind, obviously, but it's really strange to look back and be like "I didn't think this way back then, I've got different morals and goals and ideas now". It's something that I've been sort of struggling with lately, because I'm not sure if this change is a good thing or not. Dallas said something about my being more confident and the change being because of that possibly, and I think that might be part of the reason, but it is still really strange to me.



Today was a pretty tough day for me. I woke up and called in to volunteering to tell them I'd not be in today. Then, I went back to sleep. I spent a larger quantity of time than required convincing myself to do my seminar for Wednesday, and then forced myself to shower and go to the library after freaking out over it for far longer than I needed to (in case you didn't know, I'm terrified of libraries. Especially the one at York). When I finally got there, I got books as quickly as I could, which is why I ended up with a Greek version of one of the books I wanted, and then made a mad dash for the reserve desk, dreading working in the library the entire time. I was delighted to learn that the books were on a one day reserve, which meant that I could leave the library with them, so long as they're back by 11pm tomorrow night. Cue mini celebrations at SCup and a dash home. I finished the seminar after feeding Dallas and myself spaghetti and sauce and meatballs that turned into deliciously flavoured meat-crumble since I couldn't get the balls to stick together. Ha. That's dirty. Anyhow, we enjoyed food and I enjoyed finishing work. Then, Meredith, Marco and Mike showed up and Sarah came by soon after. Talking and laughing with everyone was a lot of fun. And also great for my mood. So yay for bad days turning better!

And happy birthday-in-an-hour to me!