Days ago I longed to grow up --
Be careful what you wish.
Soon enough it shows up --
Life can be a bitch.
Yes, I just rhymed 'up' with 'up'. I can do what I want.
Lately I've been struggling with opposing thoughts. I am incredibly happy with my life right now and I'm proud of where I am and what I've been able to accomplish. At the same time, I feel like celebrating all of the good in my life is bragging in a way, and even being happy for myself brings with it a large side of guilt. Knowing that a lot of people, friends of mine included, do not have things as good as I do makes me feel like a spoiled little princess. I have so much and I give so little. It's not like I'm bathing in money or anything, but I do have things pretty good right now. Compared to a large majority of the world's population I'm living an exceptionally good life. But why do I still feel empty? And more, why do I feel so bad about not being completely fulfilled by all of this? Maybe the volunteer position that I'm starting will help me to feel better about things, but thinking about the fact that it came so easily to me makes me uneasy. I know people who try much harder than I do for things far more important and yet they fail to succeed. So why me? Why do I get to have everything? I know it won't last forever, but it would be nice to enjoy it while it's around.
Lately I've been struggling with opposing thoughts. I am incredibly happy with my life right now and I'm proud of where I am and what I've been able to accomplish. At the same time, I feel like celebrating all of the good in my life is bragging in a way, and even being happy for myself brings with it a large side of guilt. Knowing that a lot of people, friends of mine included, do not have things as good as I do makes me feel like a spoiled little princess. I have so much and I give so little. It's not like I'm bathing in money or anything, but I do have things pretty good right now. Compared to a large majority of the world's population I'm living an exceptionally good life. But why do I still feel empty? And more, why do I feel so bad about not being completely fulfilled by all of this? Maybe the volunteer position that I'm starting will help me to feel better about things, but thinking about the fact that it came so easily to me makes me uneasy. I know people who try much harder than I do for things far more important and yet they fail to succeed. So why me? Why do I get to have everything? I know it won't last forever, but it would be nice to enjoy it while it's around.
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