Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detail

First, happy things. Yesterday/Monday:

[one] Mom bought me a bed!
[two] I managed to apply for more than forty jobs for September
[three] I wrote a letter to Jessie and sent it in the mail
[four] Fish and chips for dinner <3
[five] Daddy hugs!
[six] Being proud of myself for catching up on my to do list
[seven] Not missing out on my 750 words
[eight] Being able to watch TV and relax after a long day


Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detail:

Okay, so I assume we're talking religious beliefs here.

I was born, baptized, raised, and confirmed Catholic. I grew up learning about and believing in God the Father the Son and the Holy Spirit. Around the time that I was confirmed, I became really religious. I went to Church every Sunday, and I even taught Children's Liturgy of the Word. I guess at that point in my life I really needed God. And having Father Steve around made Church a really good place to be. He is somewhat how I got inspired to be such a religious person, and I was very in depth with my beliefs. I blindly followed what was said at mass and often took things home with me in terms of thinking about them and believing them to the fullest extent.

About a year after that though, Father Steve left our parish and my faith started to waver. It wasn't that I didn't believe in God so much as I was losing my faith in the Church. I started questioning certain values and teachings especially things that were homophobic and misogynistic. The remainder of my high school years were spent trying to reconcile my beliefs in equality and homosexuality as well as my feelings that I might like women as well as men with my religious beliefs. In the end, I made it okay by ignoring the Catholic-placed importance on those issues and focusing my faith solely on God.

When I entered University, I thought that I wanted to teach high school. I knew that you need two teachables to do so, and I decided that my first would be English and my second either Religious Studies or Biology. I was intent on teaching in the Catholic school system and teaching students to love God and devote their lives to Him and Him alone.

Through my religious studies class, however, I noticed my faith start to waver again. I realized that I believed almost nothing that I had been taught in school, Church, and at home any longer. I believed in the basic principles of Catholicism - love your neighbour as you love yourself (ie. Treat people the way you want to be treated), and God is the Father.

I'm not so sure where I stand right now. I'm pretty sure that I'm Christian of some denomination because I believe in God and Jesus. The Holy Spirit I'm not so sure about, but that's because I don't know so much about it. But I know that I really don't like Catholicism's viewpoints on marriage, gender equality, homosexuality, AIDS, contraception, and a host of other major issues. So I don't think I'm that.

For now, I've decided that religion is something that I'll focus on later, since I want to make sure that I find something that encompasses my beliefs and values to a near-perfect degree (perfect would be great, but I doubt that will happen any time soon) and right now I'm too busy focusing on my future. In the meantime, I can go without a strict set of values and a Church to attend regularly. I can live life according to my own values and beliefs without following anyone else's rules.